Candle in the Dark

Life is amazing if we choose to see it that way. Inside of my sadness lies an incredible beauty. The excavation of my emotions, my desires and longing are all part of a magical journey. There is nothing about our life that does not contain the element of magic with in it.

How we end up at the right place and the right time or the wrong place at the right moment. It all leads us to the deeper search with and the to the ultimate fulfillment of our destinies. Each moment, each second is an opportunity to create something, to change and evolve.

I have an aversion to mirrors. Not for reasons of vanity, but of utter confusion. Gazing into the reflection of my eyes, I see another being, another life. A life of love and beauty of unlimited possibility lies beyond the hazel coloring that the world sees. When can this mask be taken off and my true self revealed? How would I be viewed if I expressed the truth of who I am? And the bigger truth within that question is, who am I?

The grand dilemma unfolds. Already my heart and soul is wrapped in a web of almost unbearable loneliness, would by revelation of my inner most truth further alienate me from a world that is foreign to me.

During my own incredible journey through this life I have experienced much sadness,
hurt and longing. Yet I find comfort in those haunting memories. The pain compels
me ever forward to search for the ultimate freedom. The light of my soul is like a
candle in the dark, illuminating the path to liberation and understanding. Within the
veins of who I truly am flows light not blood.

My spiritual heart is larger than any physical vehicle could contain. The limitless love that flows through me longs to be shared with the world. Yet, I stay safe hiding in the shadows.
But, something urges me on to come out of the shadows and step into the light. A beautiful voice whispers in my ear, keep going, hold on, you are almost there. The key to my own freedom and my own liberation is in fully embracing each moment. To have the courage to love, to allow the fullness of life support me.

To never forget the pleasures and always remember the pain. Metamorphosis happens
in an instant, one magical second in time. To have the strength to take off my blindfold, to open myself to the magnificence of my own spiritual power. To take a risk, be daring and bold.
My heart overflows with love and the painful longing to reveal it. Yet how? How do I share myself with the world? How can I make a difference? I feel so small and limited at times, until I remember the light that pulses through my veins.

Sometimes I am paralyzed at the complexity of my own thoughts. I stumble over myself, and the various aspects of who I am. I desire to be liberated from my own fears. Ironically, in the confusion I find great clarity. The possibility of discovering the secret to my own freedom is a powerful elixir. To overcome that which binds me in my own self created prison. To sprout my angelic wings once again and fly to the sun, but unlike Icarus, my wings will not melt. They will be forged with strength and sturdiness built with precision and forethought, allowing me to fly to great heights in complete safety.

Like a raw diamond I am being honed and cut by spirit, with the intention of revealing the brilliance of each facet. The finer the cuts, the more fully the spectrum of light will dance upon the surface. Each night I cry for freedom, for change. For my soul eyes to see the truth, no longer clouded by own self imposed limitations. When the shadows begin to descend upon me, I welcome them. For in the embrace of the darkness I more clearly see the light.

Paula Picard Copyright 2003